


Heart, Keep Racing

by UpsideAround



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-24
Updated: 2016-07-24
Packaged: 2018-07-26 11:45:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7572907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UpsideAround/pseuds/UpsideAround
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for the prompt: "You are already dating someone else, and during our love potion unit, you get asked to explain what you smell, and of course you’re gonna be smelling things that describe your partner right? uhm, but then why are you explicitly describing me…?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Heart, Keep Racing

Alexander probably liked potions class the least.

Not because he didn’t like the subject, or the teacher, or even the musty dungeon it was held in. Nor did he dislike how expensive all the equipment was. And he didn’t hate the complexity of the recipes they had to put together either. He quite enjoyed it, actually. 

No, what he hated was watching John sit at his table the row in front of Alexander.

That wasn’t right either. He enjoyed staring after John, watching the fumes of his potion curl and frame his face, and watching the fumes get chased away by John’s exhale.

What he really hated was watching John’s girlfriend Martha saunter into the room and hop into the seat next to John. Every day, she pressed a kiss to his cheek and slipped her hand into his. 

Sometimes Alexander would blink and it would notice John pressing his fingers to the desk, itching to pull himself away from his close proximity to Martha.

But every time Alexander looked back again, the moment was gone.

Today was no exception.

“Hey Alex,” John greeted, walking past him and sitting in his seat.

“Hey John.” Alex edged forward on his seat slightly. “Madison said that he was going to have a surprise for the class today. Any idea what?”

John shook his head. “Nope. None. I hope it’s good though, I could use the distraction.”

Alex smiled. “Yeah?”

“John! How are you baby!”

Alex cringed at the piercing tones of Martha’s voice. He winced a smile at her and pulled back from his conversation with John. 

He watched Martha press her lips to John’s cheek. John nodded at her. She grabbed his hand and he laughed in a way that could only be described as uncomfortable.

Alex crossed his arms, trying to convince himself that he was mature and was not going to start hating someone because she was dating his best friend that he was desperately in love with.

A bell rang from the front of the classroom. Professor Madison was rapping it gently with his wand. The whispers that were running throughout the classroom fizzled out.

“Good,” Madison said. “Now, I said I had a surprise—” he broke off into a coughing fit. The hacking noises echoing throughout the silent room. Alexander noticed Martha running her thumb along the back of John’s hand. 

“—Laurens, would you get into the cabinet and find the vial with the black ribbon and dark red potion inside?” Madison said, clearing his throat as he straightened up.

“Sure,” John said, making his way over to the front of the room, where Professor Madison was holding a key up. He took the key by it’s leather string and walked over to Professor Madison’s personal closet and unlocked it. 

Alexander watched him pull out a thin glass bottle from the cabinet. He watched John lift it up to the light, watching the dark red potion sparkle in the light. He watched John finger the black ribbon around the top of the vial gently.

“What is it, sir?” John asked, handing Madison the vial.

Madison uncorked the vial and gestured for John to move forward. “What do you smell?”

John leaned forward and inhaled. “I, uh, well there’s a sort of smoky smell? Like what you smell after you set off a bunch of fireworks.” He leaned forward again. “Is there alcohol in here? The muggle kind?”

Professor Madison shrugged slightly. And gestured for him to continue.

John took another inhale over the vial and turned a little red. “And this is sorta strange, but it kind of smells like Suave.”

“Suave?”

John coughed. “Yeah, it’s, ah, a muggle brand of shampoo.”

Madison nodded. “I see.”

“What was that?” John asked, stepping back. 

“Love potion. Not quite as powerful as Amortentia, but it does have that characteristic scent that love potions do. Does anyone know what that is?” Madison said, turning toward the rest of the class. 

Alexander’s heart was racing in his chest. A love potion. And John smelt a muggle shampoo. Specifically, the muggle shampoo that he, Alex, used.

“You smell what you love and desire most, sir,” Alexander said, raising his voice so his throat wouldn’t close off.

“Take ten house points, Hamilton, very good,” Madison said. 

Alexander nodded as John slid back into the seat in front of him. 

_ It’s a muggle brand of shampoo. _

Alex brushed his hair back, trying to hide the blush that was creeping up the back of his neck.  _ His _ shampoo. 

The rest he could understand. Fireworks, sure, John always loved the sparks and the sounds of setting them off. And then the alcohol, the nights Hercules snuck in muggle alcohol and he, Hercules, Lafayette, and John would sit around in their dorm and drink, staying up all night.

But not the shampoo. When things were that personal, it meant there was some sort of deep personal connection, but Alexander couldn’t understand how.

John hardly talked to Alexander one-on-one anymore, not since his girlfriend. 

They had been close for their first five years together at Hogwarts, but sixth year, the year Alexander had his big burnout, John Laurens found himself a girlfriend. Maybe it happened because Alex was too busy juggling all his classes and clubs that he never made time for John. Maybe it was because he said something while running on less than twenty minutes of sleep.

Or maybe it was that letter Alexander composed and sent in the midst of his desperation. 

Either way, John slowly cut Alexander off that year. He wouldn’t agree to hang out in Hogsmeade, unless it was with the whole group. Alex asked him if he wanted to sneak out and go count the stars like they used to. There was always some excuse.

Professor Madison was talking. Alex nodded and looked up like he was paying attention, but the world had already blurred into a streak of color and sound. 

Here he was, in his seventh year, and he had lost his best friend. They were supposed to graduate together, but they couldn’t be more separate.

And Alexander was most certainly still in love with him, which made it so much worse.

He jerked back into awareness as the flurry of the classroom picked up, indicating that the dismissal of the class. 

Alexander made a noise in the back of his throat. “John! Hold on one second.”

John stopped. “Yeah?”

Alex brushed his robes slightly. “You wanna hang back for a bit?”

John turned back to Alex, gesturing for him to continue.

“Why me?” Alex blurted. “You haven’t really talked it to me since last year. And now all of a sudden I’m in your list of things you smell in a love potion, what’s that about?”

John’s fingers fidgeted. “What do you mean?”

Alexander rolled his eyes. “Suave? The shampoo I use? I’m not stupid, I know what a direct connection to a person means. Why am I on your list?”

John’s jaw dropped. He retreated slightly, shifting onto his back leg. “It’s hard to explain.”

Alexander crossed his arms. “I’m not going anywhere.”

John sighed. “Alex, please.”

Alexander scoffed. “Are you kidding me? I’m basically ignored for a year, which is frustrating because not only are you my best friend, but I’ve been in love with you for at least twice that long, and you don’t seem to care.” He took a deep breath. “And I would like to know why.”

“You,” John said softly, “you’re in love with me?”

Alexander stared at John. “I thought you knew. I thought that letter I so artfully composed was my confession. What part of  _ stealing into my affections without my consent _ sounds even remotely heterosexual! This is unbelievable, you—“

“I’m sorry,” John said, his voice stopping Alexander cold. “I can’t.”

Alexander’s heart plummeted to the bottom of his stomach. “Sure. That’s really just  _ fine _ .”

“I love you too, you know,” John said, his words snapping into Alex’s heart.

The acute pain of heartache is hard to describe. It really is something you only have to experience to really know. Someone you care about deeply does or says something that shatters your heart. You feel the pieces hit the floor and multiply tenfold. Each shard of glass creates another open wound.

And the worst part?

The worst part is knowing that it all happened because you allowed someone else to hold your heart.

Alexander wanted to scream. He wanted to cry. He wanted to rush forward and melt his lips with John’s.

John reached for Alex’s hand.

Alexander flinched back. “Just tell me why.”

John hesitated. Alex found it odd.

“I started dating Martha because I thought I could convince myself that I was straight. Because I realized I had fallen for my best friend.” John gestured out helplessly. “You. And then it became a matter of convincing my father that I was straight.”

“Your father doesn’t go here,” Alexander said, lowering his hand from its tensed position.

John snorted. “You think he didn’t set me up with Martha in the first place? That she isn’t reporting back to him my activities here? I’m trapped, Alex. He was disappointed enough that I wasn’t sorted into Slytherin, and if I decided to date you openly—“

“—He would hate it because I’m a guy, as well as muggle born,” Alex finished. “And if he ends up disowning you, you lose your funding for school.”

John nodded. “See, the great Alexander Hamilton figured it out,” he said, cracking a weak smile.

Alexander pressed the palms of his hands together. He twisted his fingers. “Doesn’t mean I like it any more than I did before.”

John sighed and was silent. 

“Do you have to ignore me, though?” Alex asked. “I miss you.”

“I feel like I do,” John said. “It’s either that or—”

“Or what?” Alex interrupted. “Or go back to being my friend? Or have those late night talks again? Or stop avoiding me every time we’re in the common room alone?” Alexander crossed his arms. “What is it?” he demanded, staring at John.

John rushed forward and captured Alex’s lips with his. Alexander felt himself gasp for a moment before going slack and letting John press his lips to his. 

The kiss was over as quick as it happened. 

“Or that could happen,” John said, eyes dancing over Alexander’s face, lingering on his lips.

Alexander placed his hand behind John’s head and crashed their lips together once again.

Alex felt John go weak and lean into the kiss, groaning slightly. Alexander’s arm slipped from the back of John’s head to his neck, where he held him closer. He felt John run his hands along his arm, where he held him tightly, as if he couldn’t bear to let go, lest Alexander slip away.

That was a notion Alex understood well, he didn’t want to break apart for one second, and have this be another dream that John just dissolved into a mist of longing and imagination. 

John pulled back, still gripping Alexander’s arms. “This is a terrible idea.”

“I know, I completely agree,” Alexander said, breathless. He moved his hand to the front of John’s chest, as if to push their bodies apart. 

John leaned in again and melted their lips together. Alex felt his hand fall slack and any protest his mind was conjuring up fell away, replaced only with the thoughts and feelings racing through his body. His fingers tangled in John’s curly hair, the feel and taste of John’s lips on his. 

When he opened his eyes, colors were sharper. His heart raced in his chest and he felt heat rise to the back of his neck.

“You know, for all your terrible ideas,” Alex murmured as John pressed a line of kisses down his cheekbone, “this is probably the best of them.”

John pulled back, his cheeks tinged red. “We can’t do this now.”

Alexander grinned. “You want to meet up at around midnight tonight? At our old spot?”

“Sure,” John said, straightening up and brushing his hands on his robes. He nodded at Alex once more and backed out of the room. 

Alex reached his hands up to his face and felt his hot cheeks. He brushed his hair out of his face and straightened his back, pausing a moment before swinging the door open and exiting the empty classroom.

He rushed out, running straight into another person. 

“Oh! Professor! Excuse me,” Alex said, stepping aside.

Madison raised an eyebrow at him. “I just ran into Laurens as well.”

His meaning was plain. He knew.

Alexander nodded and plastered on a smile. “Just finishing up a few things. I’m sorry if I was intruding, although I’d ask if you’re planning on reporting us.”

Madison coughed slightly. “I was a teenager once. Just don’t  _ finish up a few things  _ in my classroom, okay?”

Alexander exhaled. “Thanks Professor!” he said, taking off down the hall. He was late for Transfiguration, after all.

**Author's Note:**

> *dirty little secret plays*
> 
> I was .3 inches close to ending this angsty, making John “The one that got away” and Alexander finding Eliza. Be grateful.
> 
> I would also like to say that I do not support cheating at all, and I hate how in-character cheating is for these two. 
> 
> [Tumblr](http://upsidearound.tumblr.com/)


End file.
